Keep Holding On

I'm so blah today and I don't know why. It is literally GORGEOUS outside and I'm too lazy to do anything. There really isn't anything I need to do that requires being outside, it'd just be me forcing to go outside and I am highly opposed to force. So I have the window wide open and the front door open to get the Autumn air delight while I perch upon out oak green couch and blog with my delicious Persian chai next to me.

It's rained yesterday which was unusual and frankly unwelcomed because when it rains out comes the mosquitoes and let me tell you people, they had a feast on me in the middle of the night.

Things are slightly weird for me right now. My mortality is becoming more and more of a prominent aspect, which I believe comes with age as well as trauma (a joke and yet not a joke). When you're younger, it appeared to me that my group of friends and I were relatively happy. I don't really remember deep and dark depression from my fellow mates, however during the university years depression become more known. I knew people who'd hurt themselves or had to be put on medicine. I've even known some who O.D.'d. However, I never really knew anyone who straight up deliberately ended their life. However, in the past year I've known of 3 people who ended their lives and 1 attempted to. This is just so insane to me. Insane because I wish they didn't. It's so sad. It makes me grateful. I shouldn't even say grateful because these kids all had good homes, but there was just something dark in their hearts and I, in a way, ache for them. Ache because they deserved to feel the joy of living.

I'm not writing this blog to be all preachy, because I have no right to do that. I am merely writing what I am thinking at the moment and because a death was just this past Monday, so it's relatively fresh on the brain.

On a lighter note, I am super keen that Halloween is this weekend. So after much procrastination I decided to start thinking about my costume. I am surprised how little I thought about Halloween this year. By now I would've already carved like five pumpkins, decorated the place, been blaring Halloween music and have had my costume worn in my room several times so that it was perfected for the night of. Not this year. I guess it comes with age? Or the fact that I've been lackadaisical lately. Whatever the reason, I am starting late. I went through many options in my head. My sister suggested trolls or the Hemoglobin trotters but that fell through. They later ended up being flappers. I thought about that too, but well, frankly I decided against that. Plus, I know this sounds lame, but I don't want to do any costumes that I can see myself dressing up with John because we've got a lot of Halloweens to share in our future and I don't want to run out of ideas so early :P So then I thought sailor girl. I found the perfect costume and at the moment I wasn't even paying attention to cost. I figured $50 maximum...but then with S&H since I procrastinated so long it would've been over that cost...and then the next day I got a letter from my student loans and well...that sort of squashed my ideas. So then I went to my fall back plan which is to go as a jockey. I have the perfect hat and pants and shoes for it. I even have my white polo shirt and well the jacket I can wing it. So there you have it folks. My costume this year is to be a jockey. Yes, not very sexy in the "I'll show as much skin as possible" way, but it's conservatively sexy and well who cares. I've got my man, I don't need to look good for others!

Until next time kids.

Home Sweet Home: Wedding Bells Ring

The week blew by like a subtle wind and soon the following weekend arrived warmly, graciously and affectionately with the chiming of wedding bells in the air. My high school buddies were getting married and it was perfect coincidence that John and my anniversary and their wedding was so close together.

During that breezy week I spent a lot of time trying to find the perfect wedding dress because as us ladies know you must look very nice but not too nice because you can't compete with the bride. Also, you don't want to look like a church go-er, nor a nightclub floozy unless those are your things, so really wedding dress shopping is an art-a real chore to find the perfect most appropriate dress.

I eventually found the dress from J-Crew, had it overnighted and it was stunning I must say. With the jewelry, I felt wedding guest appropriate. The night before John and I also went shopping for his apparel. He groaned and rebuked me for putting him through it, but in the end he looked SO handsome.

Their wedding took place at the scenic Glendale Botanical Garden. It was such a sight and a pleasant day: not too hot, not too cold with a little wind. There were peacocks running around, ducks and even roosters. The moment I arrived there, I ran into my high school friend's parents the Hoffmans and of course lil' orphan Annie.

We always laugh when we are around each other.

Old time friends

Then we all hurriedly shoveled to our seats, I tried to snag the seats that were as close to the front as possible and then the most familiar hymn began to play. Dum dum dee duuuum. It was darling to see lil' Andrew all dressed up as a man, waiting for his lady to walk down that precious aisle. The first to be escorted was his mother and his lady's, Chelsea, cousin.

Andrew looking all smart :)

The bridemaids The groomsmen


The ceremony, soft and easy going lead to the beautiful sight of the bride.

and we can't forget their adorable baby Cyan :)


Now during this time they are saying their vows and being oober romantic and sentimental that I couldn't take as many pictures as it was that I was crying like a baby. However, I did after their vow get the lighting of the candle which unites their souls and hearts and the kiss. Obviously these are the important moments, so OF COURSE I wouldn't miss it!

Ahhh..love


I introduce to you husband and wife!



Isn't it wonderful to see young love as pure as this, knowing it'll blossom and grow to a rich and fulfilling life? I think I am a little envious.

Afterwards, the guests gather up and head on out to the reception hall, but here's a quick shot of my boy and I. Ain't he handsome?



Here's a picture of my buddy Jack and his lady Robin



After many people did what John and I did, which was to take a bunch of pictures, we all eventually made it to the reception hall. To be honest, which is so sad to say, we were one of the first people at the reception hall, just as we were one of the first few for the ceremony. This is a first for me! I am Persian people...being on time is a rarity let alone early.




Here is Nick and his sis Angela


To be honest...I can't remember if it was an open bar or not...it didn't matter anyway because John, being the gentleman as he was, brought all the drinks to the table anyway, for myself and for everyone at the table too. He's such a darling. Here's us with the bride and groom!


Then the crowd got a little crunk and delirious with delicious food. When the D.J. started playing those jams, it was difficult to not be on the dance floor. And that is exactly where John and I stayed for most of the night...dancing our little tushies off.



Then a slow song came on and the little flower girl wanted to dance with John...it was too precious to watch this. I have a video of this but I don't know how to exactly upload it, once I figure it out I'll put them up.



There was more dancing, more music, more drinks, more food and more cheer going on for hours.

Annie and I doing shots: Series sequence:




Of course shots always does the body good. I'm jovial, blissful and hopeful. Life is good :)

Here is baby Cyan with his grandfather!



Naturally, John and I sneak a photo and a kiss ;)


All in all the wedding was wonderful. It was sweet, intimate and just plain fun. Who doesn't like to see their friends get married? We then had the luxury to be the chauffeur to two drunk birds, but I'll negate that disussion because I want to leave the night off on a happy note :)

Peace, love and happiness folks!

Morning shenanigans

It's a frigid October morning and I'm sitting lazily on my couch sitting Darjeeling tea and watching Rent for the first time. Out of anxiety, boredom or A.D & D. I felt the urge to do something else, which I have been, but now it's time to blog. It's been a while since I've blogged.

I have never seen Rent before, but I can definitely say it's interesting. Not exactly what I expected, but I didn't really know what to expect. Now it just got super depressing with people dying and sad melodies.

So what's new in my life, I am working on a new film project that's absolutely amazing. It's called Ey Pari Kojai, which is Farsi for Beloved One Where Are You. The synopsis of the movie is this:

On the Iranian New Year, Maryam Haghighi, an Iranian ex-patriot, celebrates with her three daughters. The evening turns ugly when the girls accuse Maryam of abandoning them. When the television in the room begins to broadcast Maryam’s memories of a tragic event, her world spins out of control. Despite struggling with her choices as a mother and the pain of banishment from her homeland, Maryam builds a life for herself, but at what cost? ‘Ey Pari Kojai’ (Beloved One Where Are You?) deals with the challenges of integration, identity loss and culture clashes.

Now doesn't that sound like an amazing project? I reckon it does! We've been having rehearsals, gearing up for the heavy meanings of the story. I love each and every moment of it all.

Halloween is coming up and I honestly haven't even thought twice about it, which is strange because I LOVE Halloween! I love the festivities, the costumes, the music (yes the music!), the trick and treat, the pumpkins ooooh I love it! Okay, now I am getting excited about it, haha.

I still need to finish my story about my trip back home! I also went to Cancun since then. Geez, I'm so bad with this blogging business. I promise, I will shape up and blog better and more often. It's like chicken noodle soup, it's good for the soul. Speaking of soup, I have LITERALLY been obsessed with Thai soup. There are two restaurants in my hood Spiced and Green Curry and I've had soup all week: Tom Yum Pak. I had Tom Yum Pak from Green Curry which is absolutely to die for. Then I had Tom Yum Pak with shrimp at Spiced and it was delicious, but I wish it had more vegetables like the way Green Curry does. Then I had Spiced reverred soup "Spicy soup" and I didn't really like it much...it was a thick and sweeter broth and it just didn't hit the spot. I am actually about to head out to do some errands, but get some soup again. This time I must get the Tom Yum Pak from Spiced with only vegetables this time and then I can decide officially whether Spiced or Green Curry has the better soup. Yes, I nerd out on things like this, but you must truly try their soup...I'm nerding out for a reason.

Well anyway, I must be off to make use of my day, noon is approaching and all I've done was blog, watch a sad movie, chew on my lip and check FB like twenty times already.

Until later!

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

I must admit, this is my most favourite part of the year. That’s a lie because I find value in every season, however, for me I feel that once September hits, it’s a slippery slope of sheer sappy happiness. Let me explain. September is my birthday, jovial because I get presents and party. I realized that the slippery slope shall be pushed back to October now since I just realized my age. Moving on: October-the weather drastically changes as Autumn blows Summer out of the ballpark. The air becomes more crisp, blunt and direct. There’s something ridiculously nostalgic about this change in atmosphere that I can’t specifically put my finger on it. All I know is that I get this twinge in my soul and I most deeply appreciate it. The leaves change colours emphasizing the glorious beauty of nature’s scheme. Not to mention Halloween isn’t a blast. November: ah, November. The obvious is that November holds Thanksgiving. As by last Thanksgiving, I can’t fathom how I went three years without eating meat. I love the gluttonous gorging that takes place on Thanksgiving: I can even smell that basted turkey now. The mashed potatoes…oooooh loving that gravy sauce. Cranberry sauce is so delightfully tangy and tart to contrast the buttery warmth of the turkey. I can go into a novel describing each and every single side complimenting the decadent meal, but I won’t. Just know that I eat luxuriously, without hesitation to binge as a fat plump queen for days drunken into stupor by tryptophan. Oh yes, I forgot…and the fact that family comes together to share this Fat Tuesday like splendor and it’s the month of both of my parents birth. Thanksgiving shoes us straight into December, which Winter makes her presence. I love the frigid air. The white blanket of snow perched so elegantly on the streets before it turns into a disgusting muddy muck of a pigsty.


December holds the birth of baby Jesus! It holds Christmas cheer, music, presents and holiday joy. It is the month where I actually enjoy hanging with my family because no one can be mad during December! It calls for winter break. Skiing (which I’ve never done, but I can fantasize). It holds vacationing up north with my boyfriend, where we snuggle so closely because it’s so chilly. It beckons hot chocolate and nutcrackers and Santa Clause. It is the only time people spend like lunatics and don’t feel morose over it…well…maybe not as morose because it ‘tis the season of giving! It also kicks our tushy’s to the next year as we go out with a big bang for New Years intowhich we all are technically cleansed like a christened child for all the sinful, self indulging activities we engaged in. January rolls around and we start off fresh with our New Years resolution and start the whole miserable process all over again.

I am sitting outside in Astoria at a very quaint eatery called Martha’s Bakery. The weather was too tempting to remain indoors. I must say that I enjoy staying in my new place with the window wide open and my front door open to allow the freshness of the air to filter the house. I like that about this place in comparison to my old apartment. This feels like a house because I open my door to the outside and not a hallway. However, I decided I needed to walk around and I took my laptop and I took my camera with me. I snapped a few shots and decided I needed to blog since I haven’t blogged in ages. While snapping photos I literally was narrating what I would blog at that instant, but now for the life of me I can’t remember. I guess it’s a good thing. Every time I decide to take photos, I forget how much I really love to do so. I don’t consider myself a photographer, but I do consider myself as a strong admirer of the arts. I am also vain enough to say that I like the work I do and sometimes I take damn good shots. However, I am sure many of us out there think we are all photographers in one way or another because of how technology nowadays makes it so easy to get an “artistic” photograph. I don’t really know what kind of photographer I’d call myself. I don’t focus primarily on any one subject. I love buildings, I love people, I love inanimate objects and I love nature. I think my style is that if I like it, I snap it. I like to take my time with photography, and if you know me-that’s just my personality with anything. I love my father, but he loves snapping 50 pictures of the same thing and hopes that a few come out good. Now that’s smart mathematically and with probability, but it really isn’t the premise of photography. My premise of photography is to capture that moment, in one single slot. Therefore, patience, a good eye and talent are vital. I would really like to post my shots, but as I have mentioned before…I’m very possessive and until I learn to lock the photos-I won’t post them.

I really like NYC. I truly do. I like how everything is different and so diverse. However, what scares me to my very core is the fact that the people here are complacent and that I’ll never be able to truly understand/know this place. I mean, I’ve lived in NYC for over a year now and I can’t tell you that I know something extremely well. It’s almost designed that way. It’s impossible to know every store, every eatery, every block, every neighborhood, every activity, every person. I know it’s the same for 99.9% of the rest of America, but you can come pretty close to knowing a lot. Here, it’s impossible even if one were to not sleep and venture out every second of every day. I also struggle with how people think here. It’s so carefree and so very disrespectful. Not everyone of course so don’t get your knickers in a twist saying I am prejudice and discriminative. Hey, I am a liberal bleeding heart at times too, but I also believe in something greater than this basic, materialistic, empty façade everyone parades around here like boasting peacocks. I can’t explain it. I can’t even explain it in my head. It’s something I feel. It’s something that makes this place so off to me. However, I must somewhat play into the game because I am here for a goal and I must reach that goal. I will.

I feel so cliché sitting at a café with my computer. I wish it wasn’t so cliché. It’s actually rather pleasant, especially in this weather. I have to go though because I am stuck between two imbeciles. To my left, a man that is flagrantly trying to boast about his financial endeavors and to my left a group of foreigners that are loud and smoking. However, before I depart I want to give a shout out to another amazing book by Ayn Rand: Fountainhead. I picked up reading this book last week and am nearly finished with it. It isn’t a victory about speed, because I can be honest I’m reading it rather slowly…however, it’s another amazing book and I recommend everyone to read this as well as Atlas Shrugged.