Day 5 In The Dog House

The following morning, I am pleasantly sleeping on the futon in the living room satisfied with my previous nights work. Circa 6am I hear the sound of expected guests arriving-Amanda and her boyfriend Angelo. These are our homies from Phoenix, AZ and I had already expected their arrival-what I didn't expect was me feeling as exhausted as I did. So what did I do, as any hospitable host would do? I rolled over and pretended I didn't hear them come in. Mandie and Amanda hung out in my freshly furnished room while I counted the fluffy sheep in my dreams. I was finally awakened by Graham around 7:30 or 8 to tell me to go sleep on their bed because people wanted to hang out in the living room. Whoo hoo for me-a nice comfy bed?! I was being rewarded for all of my hard work!

So I snooze a little longer and finally awake around 10 to the silence of what seemed to be an empty house. What a waste. However, Graham was still around and informed me that my peeps went out for a pleasant breakfast in the buzz of NY.

Then terror struck me when I realized I left the van parked on the street directly outside so I phone Mandie to ask details about the parking privileges we as residents have. She informed me not to worry and that I am allowed to park there, only on Tuesday and Fridays between the hours 9:30-11 am I not permitted to park (peculiar times huh?).

However, I decided it was wise to go down and reconfirm. As I progress towards the van, my heart sank and there on the wide eyed window pane perched an obscenely flamboyant orange ticket. Angrily I snatch the offensive piece of paper from the clutches of the window wiper and peer around to see if anyone saw my publicly viewable punishment. Then I go to read the street sign and lo and behold the old bird was right! So why was I being ticketed?!?! I read what the regal officer wrote and he stated that I was in way of the bus stop. Are you freaking kidding me?! The bus stop was 100 yards away and there were cards directly behind me, weren't they ALSO obstructing passageway of the bus?!
Sooooo, being the way that I am-I photographed every angle and I am going to fight these damn NY police bastards! My ticket was straight up BS and they need to know that this lil' AZ miss wont put up with their NY crap!




So, I moved the van because I was fearful another prick cop would come by and ticket me again. Yes, that is correct-I, MINA MARIE MIRKHAH, DROVE ON THE STREETS OF NY. Might I say...it was badass.

Then Graham and I return the Uhaul, go to BBB(bed bath and beyond fyi) to buy pillows and we took a taxi home. Graham went to a Yankees game (that bastard), while Amanda and I (Mandie was in school-loser) decided that margaritas were calling our names.

We walk to this local Mexi joint called Vamos and before we even get situated in our bar stools, the Jamaican looking bartender Marcos tells us our drinks have already been paid for. We start laughing and I reply perplexed "You're joking!" Now I am not sure if this is a NY thing but he retorted "No, you're right I am joking. No seriously." This of course confused me more and Amanda and I are exchanged looks that interchange between confused, excited and nervous all at the same time. I just decide to order my drink and I get a margarita. I wanted it on the rocks but Marco said getting it frozen means I get to have two of them. Well hell, two is always better than one! (yes I know there is less alcohol-doy!) Amanda gets her frozen strawberry and we eat our chips and shoot the shit. She talks about her new job which is badass. She also humorously makes a few points at how she's been with Angelo for six years and still no proposal yet. I talk about John and my non-existent job and how I am enjoying NY thus far. That's when the margarita starts to set in. We both start getting loud (and we are already loud to begin with by nature) and we're laughing hysterically over the most inane things! Marco didn't have to do much convincing for me to get my second margarita and I realize there is no way on God's green earth that I can drink this and walk out the bar. I don't know what happened to my tolerance but the one knocked me on my arse. So Amanda and I decide to split it-phew. What's hilarious is Amanda too is going to the Yankees game-now she'd be attending the Yankees game belligerent. Hahahaha. We walk home to meet her friend whom she'll be accompanying to the game.

Angelo was searching online for ultimate frisbee competitions in Central Park to entertain himself while Amanda was gone. When they left it was Mandie and I remaining and I felt it was wise to sleep off the drink.

I awake to the mousey voice contradicting the lion's shake of Mandie, whimpering for me to walk with her to the grocery store. Now I had no problem with going-but I was so heavy with my sleep and groggy with the fogginess of sobering up that all I could do was stare at her between half closed glossy eyelids. I remember her figure towering over me, staring with an expecting look. Eventually words came to me and I hoarsely replied with "Sure". Like a hibernating bear, I stretch of the sleepiness and walk with her to the grocery store.

When we return I eat a sandwich and surf the net while Mandie read. Next thing I know, Graham barges into the house loud and full of life-clearly the boy was drunk. He pounced on Nigel with fatherly love and rejected Gilah-which was hilarious because when he's sober it's nearly the other way around. He danced in the living room like it was a dance floor and eventually made his way to the bedroom. Amanda and Angelo came up within minutes and that meant I had to hit the hay. Tonight they got the futon.

So Mandie and Graham got this brilliant idea that I should sleep with them on the bed. At first I was thoroughly opposed to this idea...but then again sleeping on wood flooring doesn't sound much better. So I consented. I had a brief convo with John before I decided it was best to go to bed. When I slinked into their room, I began to regret my decision-but it was too late to go back. Mandie was on the far right and Graham was right in the middle. Now I don't know who's brilliant idea it was for him to be in the middle. I figured I'd be spooning with my sister...not my sister's hubby! I kept repeating perhaps this was decided because Mandie is incredibly sick. It made me go along with the idea. So I slip into the bed and swing myself as close to the edge as possible. Everything was going alright and I began to feel the weight of sleep until...Graham started sifting around. See when I first went to their room-Mandie and he were spooning which was perfect! That meant his back would be towards me and I'd place my back towards him. However, that changed. He was moving so much that it was preventing me from relaxing. Then he rolled over facing me! And I am pretty sure he thought I was Mandie once...we wont go into that but I yelled "Graham" loudly, of course the drunk doofus didn't awake at all. Mandie did and was super concerned, but I played it off legit. Then one time he swung his arm and it smacked right into me. Then Gilah, I think it was Gilah-correction, I HOPE it was Gilah, kept running around under the covers and it was bothersome. Overall, I couldn't sleep at all and by 2:15ish I sat straight up in bed and exclaimed "That's it!" Mandie turned towards me and was right there with me. Apparently she couldn't sleep either. I felt bad and laid back down to give it another go. When I reflected, I was freezing, the blankets had been ripped off of me on numerous occasions and I had to stay alert for random appendages coming my way. However, all of that still seemed better than the floor. I decided to yank the blankets one last time to stay warm and not even 60 seconds later, Graham did some sort of Flipper kick and the blankets went aflying from our feet into the air and toward our heads. That's when I had to burst out laughing and Mandie joined in. This woke Graham up who drunkenly asked what was so funny. All I could do was laugh, so he retorted that I was a butthole, which made me laugh even harder. He was out light a light bulb within seconds...but I couldn't sleep. Finally Mandie, being the sweetheart that she is, moved to the ground. I couldn't allow my poor sister to sleep on the ground when she was sick and it was her own bed!!! So I walked over and made her get onto the bed. I grabbed the recently purchased dog bed (no joke) grabbed a pillow and made that my makeshift bed. Mandie gave me a towel and a robe as a blanket and literally slept, head half in half out of the doggy cage, on their doggy bed.



I think I finally was able to pass out around 4am...geez!